This year has been quite a whirlwind.  I think I have experienced some of my life’s highest and lowest points this year, none of which I could have made it through without God, Randall, my family, my church family and my friends.I think of this year as a snow globe.  Here I was in my comfy little setting, pregnant with my daughter and had finally got my snow all beautifully settled just where I wanted it, when God picked it up the globe and SHOOK it!  The news of Down syndrome had entered my life and now I was blind in the snow and couldn’t figure out where anything was, yet alone know what I was going to do with it.  For a brief moment, it felt like the snow blizzard was eternal, but luckily that moment was ever so brief.  I am SOOO blessed to have a support network around me that only God could have built.  Inevitably the snow settled and God laid it back on the ground in an unrecognizably new landscape that was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.  Go figure, MY way wasn’t the best way.  I look back on the world that I created.  “My snow” was laid out just perfectly so that the world saw a perfect little house with a perfect little family.  For crying out loud, we even have a picket fence in the back yard, ugh.  Getting my world to appear just right was a long and arduous process that took years.  After a divorce, remarriage and having a step-child situation that up to that point was rarely ideal, it took some creativity and diligence to arrange my snow to be “just so”.  Over the years, the snow had grown so thick and had absorbed so much of my attention that I never would have seen what was hidden underneath. Well, one good SHAKE and God uncovered my world and revealed a whole new perspective.  This new frontier brought fears that I never had to face before.  First of all, he uncovered my Vanity, wow that’s one I hate to admit.  I feared that my vanity would get in the way, and that I would not be “able” to love my daughter unconditionally.  What a crock that was.  I love her so much my cup runneth over.  God covered my vanity with fresh snow and I am eternally grateful.  Pride, that’s another tough one.  I was so proud that my son crawled early, walked early, has a great vocabulary for a 3 year old and is an all around sweet and smart little boy.  I am still proud of him, but I am also humbled.  Sydney will not be the first to do these things, but boy will I rejoice in every little milestone she reaches.  Acceptance, boy these don’t get any easier do they?  I never considered myself judgmental.  That is until my shake.  Since the news of DS, I have seen so many children with disabilities in my community that were not there before.  Wow, was I really so blind?  Did I really gloss over people?  Thank you God for opening my eyes.   God’s shake brought me humility and a sense of Gratitude that I never would have experienced without my sweet angel, Sydney.  With this shake also came the call to advocacy.  I see a niche that my experience and skills can fill.  I look forward to the coming years to see where He leads me.  I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to be living my life.  I have a loving family and I walk everyday with Christ.  What more can I ask for?

Proud Mama

Yesterday, we had an appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist for Sydney.  We had to follow up on the two remaining holes in her heart.  She was born with three, but the first hole closed up in two weeks and she still had two left.  We got excellent news that the more critical hole in the lower chambers is gone.  Praise God!!!  The upper hole has decreased significantly and is less than a pinhole.  The prognosis is that it will continue to heal on its own and we are considered free and clear from the cardiologist and will have no more concerns.  Our prayers are answered!

This Christmas season was a quiet one.  We had two days of opening Christmas presents, the 25th and 26th.  Syd got several toys including some play gyms that she REALLY enjoys!  Her favorite gift is a toy bar that fits on her carrier.  She really gets excited knocking that thing around.  The boys spent some time outside on thier new scooter and skateboard (oh dear!)  This year we were a little scattered. (more than usual)  One new thing we did this year was go to TubaChristmas downtown.  It was a bunch of tubas and related instruments playing Christmas music.  It was a beautiful day on the lawn of the Capitol and we had a nice time.  We also really enjoyed all of the Christmas cards that we got this year. There were a lot of picture cards which we REALLY love!  This Christmas season was full of love, what more can you ask for?